alright, i want to say sorry to everyone, especially melvin and melissa, you were and are right, i am a fighter, and that monday after i wrote the depressing blog, i told myself, sheesh....i am joshua, i am not changing who i am, and i am a person who will see others go down before i do, what i mean by that is i dont give up simple.......i dont care, i am going to be a great musician, no one can stop me and i will get there. so i went to the jazz teacher and said, "sir, give me five minutes of your time, i want to show you my passion for saxophone" so i played for him and he literally had his mouth wide open and said...."w.w..wwwhat happened, where did u learn all this, i said i just added a bit of inspiration to mood to it" so conclucion is that i just need to be inspired and i can play............well, i was happy about that. anyway, the truth, fine, i hate it here and i cant wait to come home.......when i come home it will be my birthday and im so happy i will be home to celebrate it with my fmaily and friends. i have a LOT of tests lately, thats why i havent had time to write to you guys, i am so sorry, please forgive me.........

i finally got into the worship team here and they call me the "sax man", thats my nick name in church, they call me that cause they dont have a saxophonist so they said they want me to be there saxophonist. one thing i dont understand, whe i say i was a worship leader in youth they all asked me how old i was and when they found out that i was 18 this year.....oops, im 18 oh, crap, im getting old, anyway, they were shocked to know that a person so young like me was a worship leader. anyway, they want me to play guitar and sax but first i need an audition, they said im 80% able to play but they still need an audition cause all the songs they play are very hard songs, even i have to say they are hard..........well of course i have to say they are hard cause im not that good yet btu anyway, i have been job hunting for the past three weeks and handed in god knows how many resumes to all the places so im really hoping someone will call soon, please pray for me guys cause i really need a job. anyway, i really wish i was joining you guys in what you are all doing...........by the way, im starting a christian fellowship group and at the moment im using music as a bribe to get them to come cause none of them are christians, anyway, im still trying my best.....'

i really thank you very much for all the comments you left melissa and mel, thank you so much, i so cant wait to come home again.........

i have a lot to talk to you guys (youth) about your worship, or should i say our worship, cause i really think we can take it to another level, not only in spirit but also in skill, face it, we play the same songs over and over again, the youth are never there enjoying it, i dont know what to do yet but im praying and praying about it cause i dont want the discovery club just to have normal worship, i want us to have extreme worship where heaven just comes down at the drop of a note, try and hear what im saying here..........anyway, ill think about it more so ill have something to share when i come back......thank you guys for everything..........talk to ya soon